How to prevent burnout and manage stress
“What is wrong with me?”
“Everyone else seems to be able to manage”
“I no longer recognise myself”
“I just wasn’t strong enough”
These are a few examples of the things people tell me when they come to see me about long-term stress and burnout. They are snippets of statements that express self-blame and a sense of failure, which I often hear from people when they arrive feeling stuck and unable to find a way forward in what has become an unsustainable working life.
Although stress can be caused by any circumstance in life, here I will focus on work-related stress. Even so, regardless of the cause of your stress, most of the principles and strategies to manage stress apply regardless of the cause of your stress.
When work becomes too stressful
For the individual, long-term stress and burnout cause severe emotional distress and impacts a person’s general ability to function in both working and personal life. If left unrecognised and untreated, it can lead to other mental health issues. So, it is important to take it seriously – and to know what you can do about it yourself. Whereas we could certainly identify social and organisational contributors to burnout, this is about what is possible for you to change.
What is stress?
’Stress’ is a response to a challenge or threat and is both necessary and harmless when it is short-term. As unpleasant as it might feel, its function is to help your mind and body to deal with the threat. But if the mind and body don’t calm down again and the stress response persists long-term, it will start to have unwanted consequences. This is when you start to perceive the demands on you to be greater than your ability to deal with them.
If you continuously don’t believe yourself capable of meeting demands and expectations, it can eventually lead to burnout - a state of physical, mental and emotional exhaustion.
Perhaps you recognise some of these symptoms from you own life:
You always feel behind, but there is never enough time or energy to catch up
You are worried about dropping the ball and forgetting important tasks
You struggle to focus and remember
You are dissatisfied with your performance and feel unable to live up to expectations
You procrastinate and get less done than you used to
You feel “broken” and disconnected – from yourself, your relationships, and your former excitement about your career
Your sleep is disrupted, or you suffer insomnia even if you are exhausted
You have stopped exercising, you are overeating or have lost your appetite
You don’t feel able to relax and enjoy the things you used to enjoy
You have turned instead to brief energy “boosts” like scrolling and sugary food
You feel like a failure, you feel stuck, you feel overwhelmed
You feel hopeless and unable to break the cycle…
Feeling like yourself again is a gradual process
So, what do you do when you feel nothing you try is working or even that change is impossible? Fortunately, there are ways to get ‘unstuck’ and back on track.
And yes, it isn’t easy. Maybe you feel too overwhelmed to start making changes. Maybe you have tried, and it just became another thing you could tell yourself you failed at. Changing habits is hard, so allow yourself to do it gradually – and to not always get it right.
Getting started…
In my practice I see many people after the onset of burnout and people who are struggling with long-term stress and spending their limited energy to try to keep their head above water. One important focus in our work is to regain a sense of agency – to no longer feel constantly powerless, and to start to regain a sense of purpose, motivation, joy, and to feel an increase in energy.
Stress Management strategies
Below are some strategies to help you better manage stress and prevent (or overcome) burnout:
1 .Set boundaries:
Establish boundaries around tasks, and between work and personal life. It helps you gain clarity and be intentional with your actions and choices.
Set boundaries that are sustainable and in line with how you want your (working) life to be. Importantly, ask yourself if what you give time to in your day is also what is important and has value to you.
Examples of boundaries that give clarity and help you be intentional in your choices:
Decide on sustainable working hours and respect them.
Plan your work in a dairy or similar format. It gives you an overview of the pieces of work and whether your deadlines are realistic.
You don’t have to leave a clear desk. Not everything can or needs to be done before you can go home. Sometimes going home is more important.
Decide how available you need and want to be – how much do you allow emails to interrupt your workflow or your evening?
Learn to say ‘no’ – or rather, consider when to say ‘yes’. Do not say yes (to tasks, deadlines) automatically but prioritise your time and choose intentionally.
Even if this seems impossible in your job, there is always some room for change.
2. Problem-solve:
Only deal with what you can control. Worries and rumination are usually disguised as problem-solving, only they take endless time and energy, cause anxiety and hopelessness, and usually don’t bring results. If there is a problem that needs solving, plan a time to action it – or if you must, plan a time to worry about it and allow yourself to worry for 10 minutes only.
3. Prioritise enjoyable activities:
Doing things you enjoy (or used to enjoy before burnout) can replenish energy and reconnect you with other parts of your life than work. You might not currently feel enjoyment or have the energy and motivation but remember that the feeling will eventually follow the action.
4. Be kind to yourself:
Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend. Would you tell your friend that they are not good enough, not smart enough, too weak? No? Not only would that be unkind, but it also wouldn’t help them to do better. So don’t speak to yourself like that either – it won’t help you do better.
5. Prioritise sleep:
Prioritise time to sleep over catching up on “me-time”. Often in a busy life, you will end up taking “me-time” or downtime from the only activity, you feel you freely can take it: from sleep time. And as you already have no energy, downtime becomes time to scroll rather than meaningful relaxation or rest. Deprioritising sleep will unfortunately make the problem worse. Getting regular sleep and enough sleep is important for both your physical and mental wellbeing.
6. Get some exercise:
If you are currently struggling to do anything at all, start by going for a short walk. Being outside in daylight and getting fresh air can be beneficial for your mood and energy levels.
Additional support
Those were some strategies to help you on your way to better stress management. They are also some of the areas we work on in therapy or stress management coaching. They are all about helping you regain a sense of agency – starting with small steps and gradually feeling more like yourself again.
If you think you could benefit from help in implementing these changes, or to understand how these principles can be tailored to your specific work and life situation, contact Bech Psychology to discuss how we can help.
Anna Malena, psychologist at Bech Psychology